The Ridge at Back Brook

by Harm of Will

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about

This project started small, expanded to a double album I had no hope of completing, and slowly shrunk to what finally became this release. It feels like an incomplete representation, but that seems fitting. It's a collection of scattered thoughts from a time that was mostly defined by self-frustration, with a glimmer of something Big and meaningful lying behind the mental muck, a weird power up in the hills and wooded edges of suburbs on misty nights. I guess the songs are about struggling to a place of greater clarity, trying to break out of lethargy and limitation and falling repeatedly into the same traps. And the quiet power of moments when things align and you do actually rise out of the clouds to briefly see the world alive with a clear intensity.

Mostly, this album exists for me, as a personal and artistic learning experience. I'm putting it out in hopes that it speaks something true to someone. And to make people stop asking me what I've been working on.

ok that's it, thanks for listening to my stuff!! love u <3 xoxo

-Nick

credits

released December 7, 2016

Madeline Jones did the incredible artwork!! check out her stuff @sparkleheartemojimom on instagram!

AJ Lawrence did a large majority of the mixing on all songs.

Michael Treadwell plays drums on "A Vision" and Adam Yan plays drums on "Buried In Snow".

Nick Demers did the rest.

tags

license

about

Harm of Will Boston, Massachusetts

Harm of Will is the recording name of Nick Demers.

contact / help

Contact Harm of Will

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Track Name: Harmonium Song
I heard you crying
through the bathroom door
I wanted to reach out
but what do you do when
someone's crying in the shower
at 7am?

oh, we're never alone in lonely suffering...

though you're gone now my love
is still waiting for your return
or so I say but is that even
how I'm feeling now?

and after the party in hanging
smoke my dull life is shown
in righting the inverted cross
on the wall and whispering,
"I'm sorry."
Track Name: A Vision
I want a place I can call my home
and when I go there I want to feel
the sun in my bones

I want to work proudly on my own
in the strong morning light, oh
when I go there radiant green
will be all I see, it's my vision

"SO THEN WHY DON'T YOU LOOK?"
um, next question
"COME ON, WHY DON'T YOU LOOK??"
I have no answer...
"COME ON, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR NICK???"
I have no idea where to look, OK!?!

I wonder if you'll recognize
me when I'm free, oh
when I go there and I hold
the world like a kitty, when effortless
love is free and vast
Track Name: No Feeling
put me up in the breeze
and take all these stupid feelings
far away
(go away)

maybe once in a while
I'll return to make you smile
and then recede

...

why do I feel this way?
why am I so afraid of
showing you who I am?
Track Name: Buried In Snow
the reach of our roots is infinite sky
billowing in our minds
and with my age come signs
that all of our structures fail

and when they're gone,
we'll drift free on the ocean alone
wondering if it's time
to leave a reflection behind.

...

and when it's time to go
I hope that you know I loved you then

oh, when you're gone
I'll drift free on an ocean
wondering when it's time
to leave a reflection behind

...

buried in snow
everyone that I know
is buried too
Track Name: My Orbit
my orbit, my orbit sings
with all my problems
static anxiety

I can leave the place but
it will always cycle back
and my orbit, my orbit hangs

I look alive but I'm buried in snow
with a blink I demolish mountains
out of sight the river runs dry

but some things stay,
a dull sense of longing in my life
as my orbit, my orbit sings

I'm wearing down the holy hours
by browsing websites, fuck I'm alone
give me sight to reach beyond
Track Name: The Ridge at Back Brook
walking by the river at night
I feel the Ridge at Back Brook
come creeping into my mind

with a gentle pull and a sigh
I feel the water recede
I see the hills and the meadow

every part of me is searching for an unseen
center where all thoughts give way to knowing
every part of me is searching for the morning
but no part of me has found it

everybody wants to be kind
but no one knows how to do it
there's no end to our violence

everybody wants to be loved
but no one cares to provide it
our whole world's covered in ashes

every part of me is searching for the unseen
trail that means an end to suffering
every part of me is longing for transcendence
but no part of me has found it

...

walking by the river at night
I feel the Ridge at Back Brook
come floating through my mind

with a sudden pause and a smile
I see a light from the mountain
and these ashes can't hold me now